Lesbian Moms- Resources for Adults

Being a non-traditional family can be tough. Our list of resources offer useful information, advice, and guidelines for creating a family as 2 lesbian women, to parenting as lesbian moms. Learn from the people who have been on this journey about the different options available. We also suggest some resources which are purely for entertainment, as well as other screen media which are ideal for introducing the world of lesbian parenting.

Books

1. Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All, by Harlyn Aizley (book). After the author and her partner found very few stories about families like their own, they set out to put together a collection of personal stories from women who are redefining motherhood, and reshaping the view of two-parent families. Available here.
   
2. My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family, by Zach Wahls (book). On January 31, 2011, Zach Wahls addressed the Iowa House Judiciary Committee in a public forum regarding full marriage equality. The nineteen-year-old son of a same-sex couple, Wahls proudly proclaimed, “The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.” Hours later, his speech was posted on YouTube, where it went viral, quickly receiving more than two million views. By the end of the week, everyone knew his name and wanted to hear more from the boy with two moms. Available here.
   
3. Waiting in the Wings: Portrait of a Queer Motherhood, by Cherríe Moraga (book). This is the story of “one small human being’s struggle for survival”, the author’s two-and-one-half pound premature baby boy. While the specifics belong to Moraga and her loved ones- her large close-knit biological clan; her long-term partner; the child’s father- the tale is told in common with every woman who has experienced the wonder and terror of pregnancy, the trauma of a child’s near-death. What is uncommon is that the mother is a lesbian, a writer, a Chicana- all in the same breath of her storytelling. Available here.
   
4. She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood, by Amie Klempnauer Miller (book). After ten years of trying to conceive, Amie Miller was about to become a mother- the non-biological mother. This book covers Amie’s journey to becoming a mother and the experience of doing so while not being biologically related- including the anxieties and challenges of first-time parenthood. Available here.
   
5. The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Children, by D. Merilee Clunis and G. Dorsey Green (book). Written by two experienced lesbian therapists and parents, this book draws on the real-life experiences of lesbian families and the latest information from family specialists. THe book is considered an essential text for every lesbian who is involved in, or considering, raising a family. Available here.
   
6. The Other Mother: A wickedly honest parenting tale for every kind of family, by Jen Brister (book). This is a book for any parent who feels they don’t fit the mould of a traditional 2.4 family. Stand-up comedian Jen Brister takes a very funny, very honest look at life as a parent: from IVF awfulness to crying over the pages of sleep training manuals. As ‘the other mother’ she has the perfect vantage point for us to laugh and cry alongside her. Available here.
   
7. It’s a Family Affair: The Complete Lesbian Parenting Book, by Lisa Saffron (book). Lisa Saffron is the acknowledged UK expert on self-insemination, runs parenting workshops and writes a column in “Diva” magazine about lesbian families. Now, in one unique volume, Saffron uses new interviews with lesbian parents and with their kids to bring alive the issues. Gay donors and fathers are also interviewed to find out how they fit in to the lesbian family. Available here.
   
8. ​For Lesbian Parents: Your Guide to Helping Your Family Grow Up Happy, Healthy, and Proud, by Elizabeth O’Connor and Suzanne Johnson (book). This book offers practical advice on navigating motherhood as lesbian parents, including coming ‘out’ to your child, helping your children respond to questions from peers, and how to talk to teens about their own sexuality. Available here.
   
9. Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Mothers Tell All: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!, by Harlyn Aizley (book). This book comprises a collection of personal stories by the ‘other mothers’ (the non biological mothers in a 2 mother family). The personal stories celebrate this relationship with the children, sometimes in a humorous way, sometimes from a perspective of mourning, always celebratory! Available here.

TV Shows

1. The Fosters (TV Show). This show follows the blended, multi-racial family of a lesbian couple. The challenges they face are realistic for the ages of the children portrayed (12–16 when the series starts), but the overall vibe is more down-to-earth than cringey.

Websites

1. Zach Wahls Inspiring Speech (Video Clip). Watch Zach’s inspiring speech about having two moms and the impact it has had on him and his life. Zach, a 19-year-old University of Iowa student spoke about the strength of his family during a public forum on House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives.  Wahls has two mothers, and came to oppose House Joint Resolution 6 which would end civil unions in Iowa. Available here.

Films

1. Tru Loved (film). Recently relocated from San Francisco to conservative suburbia by her lesbian mothers, Tru struggles like all teens to fit in and find love, but her quest is complicated by sexual politics, closed minds, and closeted friends as she seeks to establish her school’s first Gay-Straight Alliance. Rated 17+